Everywhere I go, I see more and more girls wearing less and less clothing at younger and younger ages. You’ve probably noticed the same phenomena. You can hardly go to the grocery store anymore without seeing some teenager wearing tight leggings or a crop top.
Every time I witness this, my heart breaks a little for the girl, anger burns in my stomach, and I ask myself why any parent would allow - or even encourage - their daughter to dress in such a degrading way.
To answer that question, I turned to the internet. When I asked Google “should I let my daughter wear crop tops?” I got a lot of different answers that all amounted to “yes” from publications like Being a Good Parent, The Kit, and The Washington Post. The reasons given for why parents reading these articles should swallow their misgivings about their daughters dressing like harlots seem to boil down to three basic arguments.
The first argument: Crop tops are not inherently inappropriate.
Parents Plus Kids tells their audience that “crop tops are situational” and may be suited for some activities, like exercise, but not for school, because your kid will likely be sent home for violating dress codes. The choice to let your daughter wear a crop top, then, is purely practical and has nothing to do with modesty. If she’s going to dance practice, or to a party where lots of other kids will be wearing the same thing, why not let her wear one?
This argument fails to consider that, while fashion is indeed situational, modesty is not. Anybody with common sense will dress differently when going to a funeral, to a block party, or to the beach. At the same time, everybody can dress modestly in all of those situations. Yes, even at the beach. It wasn’t that long ago that even beachgoers were mostly covered up instead of frolicking around in waterproof underwear.
There is no practical need for crop tops, short-shorts, miniskirts, or other such revealing items. In a world where people wear long pants and long sleeves while doing hard labor in buildings without A/C in muggy heat of August, you simply cannot tell me that little Tiphany needs to go to dance practice half naked to beat the heat.
There’s nothing wrong with comfort, but comfort is no excuse for immodesty.
The second argument: wearing a crop top is just a way for girls to be empowered and to express themselves.
This is not a foreign concept to anybody living in a world riddled with feminism, but that does not make it any less crazy. Proponents of this idea might as well tell girls “Sexualize yourself before the men can do it!” It’s a pretty lame argument, though it has certainly been effective.
In the Washingtom Post article linked above, writer Meghan Leahy warns against “shaming” girls for “wanting to look pretty or sensual (which is different than sexual.)” This at least pays lip service to the truth that sexualizing young girls is bad, but she fails to provide the definitions of sexual and sensual to back up her argument, probably because one of the definitions of “sensual” is “sexually gratifying.”
That’s really where the heart of the whole problem lies. Crop tops, bikinis, short shorts and all the rest are devices to emphasize and exploit women’s sexual attractiveness, and they are being pushed on girls at ever-earlier ages. Children are being taught, implicitly and explicitly, that it is a positive good for them to behave in a “sensual” manner. Their choice of clothing – and their parents’ choices – are a significant part of that, and everybody knows it. That’s why there are dozens of articles trying to persuade parents to let their girls wear crop tops. They aren’t articulating a common-sense principle. They’re actively pushing the needle, and what they’re pushing it toward is public nudity and the sexualization of your young daughters.
The third argument: your child might rebel and wear the crop top anyway.
Leahy opens her article with a story from her own childhood: “I wore a uniform from preschool to 12th grade. On the weekends during high school, I would leave the house in respectable jeans and a shirt, and, as soon as I got into my friend’s car, I would wriggle out of my jeans and use a belt as a skirt. A black stretchy belt. As a skirt. I thought I looked cute (and I’m sure I did), but the sneakiness opened the door for other things I could hide. I wanted to express myself. I wanted to feel pretty and try something new.”
Parents Plus Kids pathetically suggests bargaining with your daughter if she insists on wearing crop tops. “Explain your reasoning the best way you know how,” the article reads. “If that’s not successful, cut a deal with your teen. No crop tops could be exchanged for one less chore at home.” Ironically, this advice is given under the heading, “putting your foot down.”
Children rebel, of course, but that’s hardly a reason to let them have their way when their way is wrong.
You are a parent. Your children depend on you for everything, including guidance and wisdom. If you listen to the advice from articles like the ones I’ve referenced, you may be tempted to think, “my daughter is only twelve, or fourteen, or seventeen. It’s not really a big deal for her to show a little skin.” But it is a big deal, and you know it. That’s why you get that bad feeling in your gut when your daughter dresses that way or asks you if she can. Do you want her to dress that way when she’s all grown up? If not, why teach her that it’s okay when she’s a kid?
You’re not perfect, but your judgement is almost certainly better than your kid’s. Trust it. Teach her to dress in a way that shows respect for herself and others. She doesn’t need to bare her body to be beautiful. She doesn’t need to follow the fashion trends to be classy and stylish, and certainly not to be valuable.
Finally, when I did find the rare link on my Google search to someone articulating the same view as me, there was one common objection to them, which went something like this:
“If you think that there’s something sexy about a twelve-year-old in a crop top or a short skirt, that just means you’re a creep!”
Obviously if somebody is sexually attracted to children, that’s disgusting and wrong, and no child or parent is responsible for the attention of a pedophile. That said, noticing that certain articles of clothing are overtly sexual – or sensual, to humor Leahy at the Washington Post – and objecting to kids wearing them is hardly creepy. If there is any group of people more delighted with the vector of teen and tween fashion towards nudity than the feminists, it’s the pedophiles. I doubt that they are big advocates for childhood modesty.
So, when all of the culture and all of the popular publications and, no doubt, many of your family members and friends and neighbors are all telling you that it’s okay for your daughter to wear revealing clothes, and that you’re a prude or a creep for feeling otherwise, what can you do?
You can be strong, reject the wisdom of our modern age, and do the right thing.
Don’t let your girls wear crop tops.
Jonah, Jonah, Jonah….I love you and you need to come into 2024. There is nothing wrong with wearing those types of clothes, unless your breasts are hanging out the bottom. To each their own. I’m comfortable in skirts and high heels. I always have been and will always be. No matter what age. And if someone doesn’t like what I wear or my style, they don’t have to look at it. I use to, and sometimes still do, wear skirts that made my legs look 10 miles long. And my shirts….well, lets just say we all have our own style. For example, I would never wear something like the Amish wear! (Nothing against the Amish). It’s just not me. I’ve never hung out with a bad crowd, I don’t break the law, well speeding. And we all do it! I got good grades in school and College, I never did drugs and was always involved in something. I’m always kind to, and help people every chance I get. I respect my elders, animals, military, etc. I think of others before myself. I Love God. So it doesn’t matter what I wear. I think I turned out OK. Excuse me, I have to go pack my bikini for my trip.😁